It's been a very, very long time since my last post and I've been hesitant to come back, truth be told. Thanks to some kind words from a couple fellow bloggers, I'm feeling compelled to climb back on this horse and go for another ride.
The reasons for my long absence are many and I won't go into detail. Suffice it to say that the last half of 2011and the first half of 2012 has been the absolute lowest part of my life thus far and let's leave it that, shall we? I know there are those out there in the blogosphere that like to share every intimate detail of their lives and even more blog readers that will lap that stuff up, but I'm not one of those people. I like to keep my nose out of other people's business and as a rule I don't invite noses into mine.
For the last year I have been lying low and just trying to get myself and my life sorted out and I'm happy to say that the last 6 weeks have been transformative and I'm feeling better than I have in years. I feel mentally refreshed and re-energized and have a new-and-improved outlook on life. It's a good feeling after all the turmoil I've been through in the last year. Don't misunderstand - I'm not all "Pollyanna-ish" about life and the sorry state of the world, but I have embraced an attitude of acceptance and forgiveness. No, I did not find religion, nor was I "born-again". If that stuff works for you, I am very happy for you and in fact feel a little jealous of the comfort so many get from their spritual quests. I tried for years and years to no avail. But there is something so freeing about letting go of pre-conceived notions and expectations of others, and just dealing with one's own self and that which is truly important. I will do the best I can for me and mine and the rest of 'em can, as my mother liked to say, "take a long walk off a short pier".
I became acutely aware as I was dealing with my own issues of anger and resentment that there are a LOT of really pissed off people out there. Seriously, everywhere you turn, someone is going off over something. It's a freakin' epidemic! I understand WHY so many people are angry. Like they say, if you aren't angry you aren't paying attention. However, it's begun to permeate everything. You can't seem to escape it. It's a sad state of affairs. It seems even every stand-up comic you see now sets up their entire show around things that piss them off. I don't know about you, but I don't find an hour long rant about mundane, every day things that cause a burning rage in someone all that entertaining. Hell, so-called "Reality TV" has made an entire genre/empire out of people being angry about something. And the angrier they are, the better the ratings. It's all very sad and pathetic really... In the end, what does anger and resentment produce? What good does it do? Nothing. None. Nada. Zilch. It's pointless and it's damaging to yourself. Someone once told my wife "Holding on to anger is like taking poison every day and hoping someone else will die from it". After what I've been through, I can say I honestly agree with that statement.
So here I am, back in the saddle. I do hope to post more frequently than once a year, but this blog will not become a Rant-o-Rama. I do not like the way my posts were heading, and I'm determined not to become some bitter, sad bastard spewing anger, hatefulness and bile. There is FAR too much of that crap floating around on the net already. I'm sick of reading it, I'm sick of listening to it and I sure as sh!t don't want to write it and subject my few readers to it. No it's not all bubblegum and lollypops - the world is a dangerous place, there is no such thing as an even playing field and TPTB (The Powers That Be) are making it worse for the common man every day. But that is life. You win some, you lose some and if you are lucky you live to fight another day. Running around all pissed off, ranting and raving at every percieved "injustice" won't change anything except possibly give you an ulcer. We all have a very short time to hang on to this revolving mud ball Mother Earth. No "do-overs", no "next time" - this is it. When your card gets punched, which can happen at ANY time for ANY (or NO) reason, that's all folks! I don't know about you, but I don't want to go out bitter and angry. I want to enjoy life to the best of my abilities while I still can. My life is FAR from perfect, but whose life is perfect? I've had the opportunity in the course of my years to spend time with some very famous and wealthy people, and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I feel sorry for people that look up to our celebrities and long for that kind of life. It's so isolated and phony and fleeting. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. OK, maybe on my WORST enemy. If everyone tried to make the best of things instead of constantly bitching about everything that doesn't live up to their expectations/demands we would all be better off. I'm going to do my part and I encourage you all to do the same. Be excellent to each other, smile more and try not to let the bastards get you down. Be kind. Enjoy yourself and those close to you.
In closing I'd like to thank a few folks that have really helped me through my struggles over the last year. I don't know any of them personally, but through their writing and videos I've have learned quite alot and gained a new perspective. In no particular order, thank you to: James "Bison" Dakin, the Mojaverat, MD Creekmore, Patriot Nurse, Engineer 775, Lowbuck Prepper and the fine folks at Survivalistboards. Thanks for your wisdom, insight and gracious sharing of yourselves. Though we've never met, I feel like I have a bunch of "invisible" friends and I appreciate what you've all done for me, even if you didn't know it.
As always, thanks for reading! See you soon,